Model Separation Agreement

I must say that this current Government has left me.... Wanting. And it's not just Obama, although he's a part of it. It's the whole Government. Democrats and Republicans. They all need to go. We need to start from scratch. Oh, I'm sure my friends to the left of me will say something about how they had to endure with eight years of Bush and all that, but I can't possibly believe that it was this bad. Seriously, I'm losing sleep and eating Tums. What did Bush do? Well, he racked up the highest deficit, one Trillion Dollars, but that pales in comparison to what the Government spend in the last 60 days and Bush did it over 8 yeas. Bush has kept this country safe. Okay, so he had to invade two other countries to do that. So we went to war over 9/11. I'm for that. Not a negative in my book.

I am very worried the direction this Government is taking this country. So I received this e-mail and instead of sending it out in a mass e-mail to all my friends I decided to post it here instead. Actually, thanks to Rob, because once I sent out something similar, similar in that he didn't agree with it, and suggested that e-mailing everyone such propaganda was not the best, but that I should post it on my Blog. Wasn't that the reason I had a blog anyway? So here it is, thanks Rob. I didn't write this. Apparently John Wall did. I think it's funny and half true. The big problem I have is that I don't think I can Divorce some of my close friends. So hopefully those relationships are safe, as for the rest of you... I get the house, I'm still paying for it and I'm not foreclosing. As for the Country, you can have the west side. East was here first and I'm partial to it.

Steve

-To My Dear Friends who will choose to live “on the other side. . .” I
wish you well. I will miss you. J (OK, my sarcastic side is showing
again. . .)

How would you like this?

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and other Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go
our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult
part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can
have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give
you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten
us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help
provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome
to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can
also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the
bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare
is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn
of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends
you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if
you do not agree, just hit delete.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda & MSNBC
with you

Major Victory for American Workers Right to Self-Defense

A repost from the NRA

Major Victory for American Workers Right to Self-Defense

Fairfax, Va. – Today, a three-judge panel of the U.S. Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously in support of allowing employees to store legally owned firearms in locked, private motor vehicles while parked in employer parking lots. This decision upholds NRA-backed legislation passed in 2004.

“This is a victory for the millions of American workers who have been denied the right to protect themselves while commuting between their homes and their workplace,” said NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre. “This effort was aimed at skirting the will of the American people, and the intent of legislatures across this country while eviscerating Right-to-Carry laws. This ruling is a slap at the corporate elitists who have no regard for the constitutional rights of law abiding American workers.”

In March 2004, the Oklahoma legislature passed an amendment holding employers criminally liable for prohibiting employees from storing firearms in locked vehicles on company property. A number of corporations subsequently filed suit in opposition to the new laws, alleging they were: unconstitutionally vague; an unconstitutional taking of private property; and preempted by various federal statutes. The lower court ruled in favor of the injunction.

“This issue was contrived by the gun control lobby who goaded corporations into doing their dirty work for them,” said Chris W. Cox, NRA chief lobbyist. “However, this ruling is a vindication for every hardworking and lawful man and woman whose basic right to self-defense was taken away on a whim by corporate lawyers. NRA is prepared to defend this right and to ensure the safety of every American worker.”

In October 2008, Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry and Attorney General Drew Edmondson appealed to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals the lower court decision to strike down the NRA-backed worker protection laws. Today’s proceedings handed down by Circuit Judges Paul J. Kelly, Bobby R. Baldock, and Michael W. McConnell reversed the lower court’s grant of a permanent injunction.

The Aggressor

Author Unknown (the reposting of a viral e-mail)

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the Iraqi terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets. 



Katie Couric said, ''Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.'' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, ''Now I can die content.'' 



Charlie Gibson said, ''I live in New York, so I'd like to hear the song The Moon and Me' one last time..'' The terrorist's leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied. 



Brian Williams said, ''I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday,
someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.'' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, ''Now I can die happy.'' 



The leader turned and said, ''And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?" 

''Kick me in the ass,'' said the Marine. 



''What?'' asked the Islamic terrorist, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'' 



''No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,'' insisted the Marine. 

So the terrorist shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, with his knife he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11! 



In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. 



As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, ''Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'' 



''What!?!'' replied the Marine, ''and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor?''

The Night Before Elections

'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

"On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi"
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!

Does this Move?

Does this Move?

Truly the most important question of all time.  Honestly, how many times have you asked this exact question?  I would be willing be bet that everyone at some time in their life has either asked this question or will ask it in their life time.  This is the single question that started civilization as we know it.  I'm not just talking about the Industrial Revolution or Modern Times, I mean from the time that Man began to stand upright and think about the world around him, the first thought he may have thought was "Does this Move?"  Certainly he learned that small rocks move easier then large rocks and some rocks.... they don't move.  Of course this started our obsession with movement.  By God, if that rock didn't move now he was going to think of a way to move it.  I could go on and on about how this simple questions led to some of our modern day successes like the bicycle, engine, car, and even dams.  Dams you say?  Why yes, because not only did we want to make things move but then we wanted to make things stop moving.  We, as a race, are basically unhappy with the way things are and therefore have a compelling need to change them.  Dams are all about stopping water from moving and creating such a thing that can not be moved.  Electricity and flood control are only convenient side effects, answering the ultimate question of all time, "Does this move and can I make it do the opposite of what it's doing right now?"  That is the real goal.

This is a powerful question which can have grave consequences if not used properly.  Be careful when using this question.  It should not be used lightly or without full measure of forethought before attempting physical experimentation to answer the question.  Doing so can lead to physical damage to property, strained personal relationships and yes, even nations will go to war over this question.  War you say, Shirley, you must be joking.  No, I am not Joking, and don't call me Shirley.  (I couldn't help myself).  For example, IRAQ in the early 90's looked at its boarder with Kuwait and asked, "Does this move?" and with little forethought or incredibly stupid thought, it pushed its boarder south to the coast.  Strangely enough, to the Iraqis, this imaginary line moved but remained in place to the rest of the world.  Well, you know the rest of the story, the rest of the world moved the line back.

How do I know the danger of this, oh so important question?  Well, let me tell you.  When I was a younger lad, my friends and I would play war games.  Oh no, not like the movie or even the military.  No these were board games that we played in the basement of our parent's homes.  One particular new game that came out was called MechWarriors.  It evolved dice, like so many games do, but it also involved building, intricate little, complicated, scaled models of the "Mechs" you played with.  After building and painting these "Mechs," which could take scores of hours to complete to their perfection.  You would use them to play the game.  The realism of the well created model added to the overall enjoyment of the game.

On one particular night, while admiring the fine detailed work of Frankie's craftsmanship, on his newly completed "Mechs," I picked up a particularly fine looking piece and examined it.  I admired the detailed structure of the model and the extraordinary paint job that Frankie had done.  A very realistic 1/72 scale representation of a futuristic battle robot.  Grabbing one of its "Arms" I uttered the question of my ancestors, "Does this move?"  and without much forethought or pause, I proceeded to check.  Now this is where story gets a little fuzzy, for some of you might think that the answer was, No.  When in fact, it did move.  The Question, shortly after the arm broke off was, "Should it?"

The answer to that question was a much clearer,  NO.

So continue to ask the question, my friends.  It is no joke.  But think about the ramification of moving something that either should not be moved or wasn't supposed to move before you asked the question.  You may find yourself saying, "Well, it does now."  Or you may create an event that is so gut retching funny that you and your friends get mileage out of it 20 years later.  Apply the question to your values, morals and integrity.  "Does this move, and should it?"  The answer might be yes or the answer might be no, but we should continue to check if it should and act appropriately with measured forethought.

p.s. It should be noted that some pieces of the Mech models do freely move.  It just so happened that the 'arm' of the one I picked up, did not and with a little glue it went back to its orginal state of: "not supposed to move, but will with the proper amount of applied Force."