Model Separation Agreement

I must say that this current Government has left me.... Wanting. And it's not just Obama, although he's a part of it. It's the whole Government. Democrats and Republicans. They all need to go. We need to start from scratch. Oh, I'm sure my friends to the left of me will say something about how they had to endure with eight years of Bush and all that, but I can't possibly believe that it was this bad. Seriously, I'm losing sleep and eating Tums. What did Bush do? Well, he racked up the highest deficit, one Trillion Dollars, but that pales in comparison to what the Government spend in the last 60 days and Bush did it over 8 yeas. Bush has kept this country safe. Okay, so he had to invade two other countries to do that. So we went to war over 9/11. I'm for that. Not a negative in my book.

I am very worried the direction this Government is taking this country. So I received this e-mail and instead of sending it out in a mass e-mail to all my friends I decided to post it here instead. Actually, thanks to Rob, because once I sent out something similar, similar in that he didn't agree with it, and suggested that e-mailing everyone such propaganda was not the best, but that I should post it on my Blog. Wasn't that the reason I had a blog anyway? So here it is, thanks Rob. I didn't write this. Apparently John Wall did. I think it's funny and half true. The big problem I have is that I don't think I can Divorce some of my close friends. So hopefully those relationships are safe, as for the rest of you... I get the house, I'm still paying for it and I'm not foreclosing. As for the Country, you can have the west side. East was here first and I'm partial to it.

Steve

-To My Dear Friends who will choose to live “on the other side. . .” I
wish you well. I will miss you. J (OK, my sarcastic side is showing
again. . .)

How would you like this?

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and other Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go
our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult
part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can
have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give
you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten
us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help
provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome
to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can
also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the
bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare
is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn
of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends
you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if
you do not agree, just hit delete.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda & MSNBC
with you